Being married to a drug addict is not something that you might have ever imagined happening to you. Or, you might have known that your spouse used drugs before your marriage, but they seemed to keep it under control. Once you feel like your marriage is in trouble, you know that things have become unmanageable. Spouses of drug addicts are placed under tremendous amounts of stress. You might have had to deal with financial repercussions for your family, and your spouse may have even spent time in jail or committed crimes. Just having to explain their odd behavior to family members or friends can be embarrassing, and you may have legitimate concerns about the effects of their drug us on your children. When you are asking how to leave a spouse that is a drug addict, you have likely reached the end of your patience. Now, the real answer to this question will depend upon their willingness to seek help and your ability to work together to heal your relationship.
If you are still on the fence about whether or not you want to leave, then it is worth exploring if your marriage is salvageable. Asking yourself these questions can help you decide if it is worth helping your spouse seek treatment.
- Do they genuinely seem like they wish they could quit using drugs?
- Would they consider sticking to a program?
- Are you currently safe from physical and emotional abuse?
- Do you have children who need two sober parents?
- Are you willing to commit to attending family or marriage counseling?
Get Support for Spouses of Drug Addicts
After dealing with the behaviors of a drug addict, it is completely normal to feel like your best option is to end the marriage. Spouses of drug addicts are often affected in multiple ways by their partner’s addiction. In fact, you may be reeling from the effects of post traumatic stress that include feelings of guilt, anger and fear. One of the best things that you can do is acknowledge that you are not solely responsible for maintaining a healthy marriage. Instead, your spouse will need to work with you to end their addiction and begin rebuilding your marriage.
If you are willing to try one more time, then it can help to stage an intervention for your spouse. In the process of planning the intervention, you can start pulling together other people from your family and social group that have witnessed some of the things that you’ve gone through. They likely have also been negatively affected by your spouse’s drug misuse. After talking to your loved ones, consider bringing in an interventionist specialist or counselor who can help you establish and reinforce any boundaries that you set forth during the intervention. When faced with a divorce or going to rehab, many drug addicts will choose to seek professional drug treatment. If not, then asking your spouse to leave your home may be your best chance to protect yourself and encourage them to get sober no matter what happens in your marriage.
If your spouse accepts your expectation that they’ll go to rehab, then act on it immediately. Keep in mind that your role doesn’t end here. The majority of drug addiction treatment programs encourage spouses to attend family therapy sessions. There, you’ll start the process of healing from all of the problems that drugs brought into your marriage. You and your spouse can work with a counselor to learn how to communicate better. Some married couples may also use their counseling time to address things such as financial and marital infidelity that occurred during the time when one or both partners were struggling with the addiction.
As your spouse makes progress in their treatment, you’ll also work with your counselor to determine the next best steps. For many couples, this will involve continuing the marriage after the recovering addict comes home. Typically, this is possible with continued counseling and effective after care programs. For others, a brief separation may be better, and some spouses go to longer-term sober living facilities after they complete their initial inpatient treatment. In this case, you’ll both have time to continue healing before you make your final decision on what should happen with your marriage. No matter which course of action you choose, the most important thing is to make sure that you and your spouse get the help that you need to live happy and productive lives that don’t include drugs and alcohol adding to your stress levels.
Are you at the end point of trying to help your spouse quit using drugs? If so, then we can help you talk to them about the best way to get sober and begin the process of healing. Reach out to us today at 833-364-0736.